she's a big girl now

since megan was born she has had an addiction to her...binkies!!! and when i say addiction i am totally serious. i have never seen a kid who NEEDS something so bad. and she could never settle for just 1. NO!! she would need at least 3 or 4 with her at all times. but now that she is 4 years old i know that it is time she gets rid of them. truthfully, i know that time came awhile ago but hey...better late than never! there have been a few failed attempts but after hearing her cry for about 3 hours straight i would give in for some peace and quiet and sleep. i seriously thought about turning her in to that tv show...intervention. aren't there binky rehab places in florida that she could be sent to until she was done detoxing? another thought i had was just letting her have her binkies until she was ready to give them up. wouldn't she eventually cave into peer pressure when she was 16 or so? or maybe her husband could help wean her off of them. sure...her teeth may get jacked up but her uncle is a dentist. i'm sure he could help fix them. it sounds like a lot better plan than hearing her scream for hours every night!

then i had an idea...on her 4th birthday i would take her to build-a-bear where she could put her binkies in a stuffed animal of her choice. then she could always have her binkies near her but they would be kept safe inside a new best friend. i have been building her up about this for months. warning her that on her birthday she would be a big girl and would need to give up the binkies and promising her a fun trip to build-a-bear. she has been so excited but as the date drew near i could feel her apprehension. so, the day after her birthday (fri.) it was time to say goodbye to the binkies even though we couldn't get to build-a-bear til monday. i wanted to make sure that we could do this before i invested money into a stuffed animal that i could envision cutting the head off in the middle of the night just to retrieve the hidden gold inside. it was a rough couple of nights but we survived. she seemed thrilled and surprised each morning she woke up unscathed from a night without her binkies.

so monday i kept my end of the bargain and took her to build-a-bear. she picked out a cute bunny rabbit she quickly named thumbelina (can you tell what movie she has been watching lately?)

here she is stuffing her new bunny.

after she put a heart into it she stuffed 3 of her binkies into it as well.

then she gave her a bath.

next, i helped dress her in an outfit megan picked out.

here she is...officially a big girl without binkies! i have to admit that my heart was breaking a little.

last night she went to sleep with thumbelina and without a fight. i'm so proud of her!

birthday party magic

growing up i remember my birthdays being as magical as christmas. i remember anticipating my birthdays for weeks and always looked forward to my birthday parties. my mom always seemed to make them special and in turn...i felt special. these wonderful moments in my life helped define my childhood and a few special birthday moments are forever etched in my mind.

one of my earliest childhood memories is of my 4th birthday party. it was a strawberry shortcake and it was on the back patio of my house. i remember a few of the friends i had over but my most vivid memory is of the cake. it had a strawberry shortcake on it that was made of gel icing and it was the most delicious cake i have ever tasted! i don't even remember what made it so special but to this day few cakes have lived up to that one in my mind. we moved from that house when i was about 5 and this remains one of my favorite memories.

for my 6th birthday we were living in our new house and my mom had turned the garage into a birthday paradise complete with balloons and streamers!! looking back i'm sure she just cleaned out the garage and hung up some balloons and streamers but i remember it being the most beautiful and amazing birthday party i had ever seen! in my head i can still see my 6 year old self opening up my brand new cabbage patch doll! i had been wanting one for so long and i finally got it. what happened next effects me to this day. sarah waters wanted to hold my brand new cabbage patch!! i was horrified and even more horrified when my mom made me hand it over! even now i have a hard time making my kids share their brand new birthday toys.

another favorite party of mine was my 10th (i think). it was a surprise party. my friends came over in their pj's and crept into my bedroom to wake me up. i've never been a morning person so my mom didn't have to worry about me getting up early to ruin the surprise. we then ate breakfast and went swimming. it was a great surprise!!

now i am the mother and i want my kids to have the same magical birthdays that i did so when megan said, out of nowhere, that she wanted a hello kitty party i went to work.

we had lunch complete with flower sandwiches and fruit and cheese kabobs

we painted kitty faces on her and her friends

her first look at herself in the mirror with her kitty face

we played pin the bow on the kitty

we opened presents

we had a hello kitty cake

we changed her outfit a few times (she immediately wanted to put on her new fairy outfit)

and she made a birthday wish.

i hope she felt special and i hope she remembers the feeling forever!

does she know?

today is megan's 4th birthday and as i remember back i can't help but wondering if she knows...

does she know how badly i wanted her?

does she know i cried when i found out she was coming?

does she know she was loved from that second on?

does she know how horribly sick i was throughout the whole pregnancy?

does she know how worth it i think it was?

does she know i bought a heart monitor so i could listen to her heartbeat every night (i loved that sound)?

does she know i loved to feel her kick?

does she know i was horrified at her antics during my ultrasounds and the tech thought she was the funniest baby she had ever seen?

does she know that is how she got the nickname stitch?

does she know how excited i was to have a daughter?

does she know she was so impatient she came 3 weeks early?

does she know she got that trait from her mother?

does she know she came on July 15, 2006 at 3:21pm?

does she know she weighed 6lb. 7 oz?

does she know it was one of the happiest days of my life?

does she know she came the weekend my dad was made a bishop so most of our family was out of town (even dallin)?

does she know i thought she was the most beautiful baby girl i had ever seen?

does she know that even though she has blond hair now she was born with dark brown hair?

does she know that i cried when dallin came to the hopsital and held his baby sister for the first time?

does she know she gave us a scare when she had to go back in the hospital due to dehydration and jaundice?

does she know her daddy slept on the couch with her when he got home from work almost every night?

does she know how i melt when she looks at me with those dark brown eyes?

does she know that i wouldn't change her firery personality for anything?

does she know that even though she says that once she turns 4 she won't be my baby anymore she will ALWAYS be my baby?

does she know that i think she can change the world?

does she know that i look forward to watching her do it?

does she know that i am thankful for her everyday?

does she know how much she is loved?

i hope she will because i will tell her everyday!

happy birthday meggie bear!!